From the website of Mary Martin bookshop: "Here is a feel good book of the first order... "
Click here for the complete review: 


Australian Women Online recommends Getting even with Fran as one of the best Mother's Day titles.


From the Sunday Age newspaper, April 11th, 2010
"...Stinson's debut novel features strong portraits of the middle-aged Aussie woman. She is warm, but not icky-sentimental. There is an acerbic edge here, in a novel that is a morality tale about growing up. It shows that it is possible to make peace if not friends with enemies..."


From Woman's Day, April 26th, 2010
"...An absorbing story with great characters and a warm understanding of the power of friendship."


From Australian Country Style, May 2010 edition
"...This is unrelenting entertainment."


From the Burnie Advocate, May 3rd, 2010
"...It describes themes relevant to today's youth - bullying and sexualisation - and also has themes relevant to those in an older age bracket - menopause, illness, marital breakdowns and miscarriage...It is heart-warming, funny and will have something to which everyone can relate... a beautiful novel that should be read by all."


From The reading stack
"...I could relate to nearly every girl that was described. I kept wondering whether Christine Stinson was an ex-classmate of mine! The characters are so real - I laughed, cringed and shed a tear. Let's get to the 40th reunion!"


From The Plot Lounge
"...I enjoyed this gentle, thoughtful novel."

Cecilia thought nothing could induce her to attend her high school reunion. Thirty years after leaving St Agnes Ladies College, she’s a successful lawyer with no desire to see her arch enemy Fran ever again. But when Cecilia’s husband upends her life, she changes her mind about the reunion. After all, it could be the perfect opportunity to settle old scores. Cecilia’s not the only one still carrying baggage from her school years. Sharon has an old bone to pick with goody-two-shoes Anne. Nellie wants to confront past demons while she still has time. Kerry is determined not to be the fat girl on the night. Barb will only be there if she can keep her past a secret. When these seven women come together, each must decide: to get along or to get even. A warmly humorous and engaging tale of letting go of the past, Getting Even With Fran is for anyone who’s ever had a friend – or an enemy.

Chapter Three
Nellie

When Nellie first felt a lump in her breast, she came up with four different ways to murder her husband. By the time she decided to see about the lump, the list had grown to nine.

Planning a murder was a great way to occupy the hours when she couldn’t sleep. She was at her creative best in the middle of the night, particularly when Ed was snoring beside her. Even in the dark she couldn’t miss the shadow of his nose hair quivering with every snort. He had the longest nose hair in the western world – another good reason to do him in. No jury of her peers would ever convict her. And if, by some outrageous miscarriage of justice, they did, they’d never get her into a cell. The cancer would finish her before that happened.

Nellie was positive her lump was cancer. She knew she was dying just as she knew she’d be a fool if she didn’t grab the opportunity to take Ed out first. Because it was all his fault, the bastard. She was forty-seven, childless, unloved and miserable, and while she couldn’t blame her age on Ed, she could certainly blame him for all the rest.

In between trips to her GP and gynaecologist, a mammogram and a scheduled biopsy, she had a week to finalise her plans. She was leaning towards poison. Obviously it had to be fatal and fast-acting – but not too fast. Ed shouldn’t miss out on suffering before he snuffed it. Some really excruciating pain was the least he could expect for having a vasectomy years before he married her—and forgetting to mention it until long after both knots were tied.
She made her final selection during the biopsy. Ed was going to die of nicotine poisoning. A nice little poison, deadly in large doses. She’d give him a very big one. The needle the doctor was digging around in her breast gave her the brilliant idea of injecting the poison into his toothpaste. Since he used a different brand to hers, it was the perfect plan.

It was a relief to put her clothes back on and have everything settled in her mind. By the time the test results were in, she was ready for action – but not for the news that she didn’t have cancer.
‘Looks like it’s nothing to worry about.’ The specialist was smiling. Nellie was dumbstruck. ‘Good work with the self-examination. Keep it up. It might be an idea to have a mammogram every year for your own peace of mind. You’ve had a worrying time.’

The doctor didn’t know the half of it. Nellie just made it back to her car before she started bawling. If she wasn’t dying, Ed would have to live, too. All her happy homicidal plans were in the dust.

Life could be such a bitch.

*

‘How long have you been like this?’

‘Like what?’ Nellie glared at her older sister across the kitchen table.

‘This,’ Rose’s gesture encompassed the breakfast dishes littering the table and Nellie’s pyjama-clad form. ‘It’s lunchtime and you’re barely out of bed. Nell,’ Rose asked bluntly, ‘what’s going on?’

She wanted to tell her sister to go away and leave her alone, but she had to tell someone about the whole rotten, stinking mess. ‘It’s…’ she began, then sidestepped for a moment. ‘Rose, would you say I was losing my marbles?’

‘How many did you have in the first place?’

‘Very funny.’ But Nellie didn’t smile. ‘Ed just wants me to think I’m losing my mind. The bastard. Do you ever wonder why you bother? When no matter how hard you try,’ and her voice started to crack, ‘everything just turns to shit?’

‘Okay.’ Rose sat down at the table with a weary sigh. ‘What is it this time?’

‘If you’re going to be like that, you can go home.’ Nellie sniffed and pulled a wad of tissues out of her pocket. ‘I’ve got enough problems of my own.’ She blew her nose thoroughly and took a big breath. ‘I’m not dying of cancer and Ed is screwing around!’

There was a moment’s silence. Rose said slowly, ‘I would have thought not dying was a good thing.’

‘Well, of course it’s a good thing.’ Rose could be so obtuse sometimes. ‘But I was going to kill Ed first, the lying, cheating bastard, and now I can’t!’

‘You were going to… Nellie, you can’t go around saying things like that! I suppose it’s okay to me – well, it’s not okay, but you know what I mean. For God’s sake don’t be saying stuff like that to anyone else!’

‘I wouldn’t! I’m not an idiot! And don’t give me that look,’ she said, shoulders hunching. ‘You’re the only one I can tell. I had it all worked out, Rose. I was going to poison Ed and put him out of my misery, then die of breast cancer. End of story.’

‘But you said you don’t have cancer!’ Rose said sharply, ‘Nellie, you’re all right, aren’t you? Physically, I mean?’

‘I’m fine,’ she replied, ‘if you don’t count being married to a—’

‘Yes, yes, I get the picture. Ed’s a lying, cheating bastard. But I have to say that doesn’t sound right to me. Ed’s just not the cheating type.’

‘I say he is,’ Nellie retorted. ‘In fact, I know he is.’

Rose looked unimpressed. ‘How do you know that?’

Nellie gave her a withering look. ‘He hasn’t slept with me in months, that’s how I know. And when I asked him if he was screwing someone else, he denied it!’

‘Well, if he denied it, what are you getting so worked up about?’

‘I know when he’s lying.’ She’d been married to him for over fifteen years, she ought to know. ‘Besides, when I tried to talk to him about it he called me a “crazy woman”. Then he said he didn’t want to discuss it!’

She sniffled again. Rose reached across the table and placed a hand over hers. ‘You know I love you, Nell. And I’d never say you were a crazy woman – did he really say that? But I do think you have an overactive imagination. In fact, I know you do. Think of all the times it’s gotten you into trouble in the past!’

Nellie shook her head. ‘I’m not imagining this,’ she said stubbornly. ‘Something’s going on with him. A woman always knows when a man’s cheating on her.’

‘If you say so.’

Rose obviously didn’t believe her. Well, that was her problem. Nellie had enough to worry about. Like what to do with their bank account. If Ed was playing ‘hide the sausage’, she was playing ‘hide the money’ before he did. She knew all about men siphoning off the cash funds and hiding all their assets so their wives got nothing in the divorce. That had actually happened to one of the women in her tennis group. Poor Lynette was left with barely enough to—

‘Earth to Nellie!’ She looked up to find Rose staring at her. ‘I hate it when you tune out like that!’ Rose said. ‘It’s so annoying. Look, Nell, I have to go, but before I do, promise me you won’t do anything stupid.’

She glared at her sister indignantly. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘You know exactly what it means,’ Rose told her sternly. ‘Don’t do anything dumb and don’t go off half-cocked. If Ed says he’s not having an affair, you might try believing him instead of working out ways to make him pay for something he didn’t do. And for God’s sake, clean up your kitchen and get dressed!’

*

After Rose left, Nellie had a shower and changed out of her pyjamas, but only because she wanted to. The kitchen really wasn’t all that bad, so she left it as it was. And she was only checking Ed’s computer because she wanted to be one hundred percent positive she was right about him.
The bastard.

She’d look in every box on his email. And when he got home, she’d find a way to get her hands on his mobile phone and give that the once-over, too. Then, when she had proof not even Rose could dismiss, she’d empty their joint accounts into one in her name only. And she’d do it with a clear conscience. She was neither dumb nor stupid. Protecting her future was the sensible thing to do.

But… there was nothing here. His in-box was full to overflowing, so was his out-box – didn’t the man know how to empty his trash? But there was nothing remotely incriminating anywhere. Just a whole lot of work related correspondence and some jokes his kids had sent him. They’d sent the same ones to her.
Nothing at all either to or from his other woman.

Right, she thought, the evidence must be on his mobile phone.
He always dumped his phone on the coffee table in the lounge room when he came home, and there it stayed until he went to bed. She’d have plenty of opportunity to palm it, sneak out of the room, go through it and put it back without him being any the wiser. He always sat glued to the television after dinner, anyway. A bomb could go off and he’d barely notice. She’d have no trouble finding her evidence.

Except there was none to be found on his mobile phone, either. Good grief. Nellie could hardly believe it. Who would have thought Ed could be so sneaky, so skilled at covering his tracks? She’d certainly never suspected it. The man must have hidden depths. But not so deep that she couldn’t get to the bottom of them.

The answer came to her in the middle of the night: his work computer. Of course, that’s where her evidence would be. She knew where she was going tomorrow. Not to tennis – she’d call the girls in the morning and tell them she couldn’t make it. Ed had an ‘Open for Inspection’ at twelve forty-five. At least she’d learned something useful going through his computer. She’d casually turn up at the real estate office around that time, be very disappointed to miss her husband, then sit down at his desk to leave him a note…

*

She’d made her excuses to the tennis girls and was almost finished getting ready for her sleuthing expedition when the phone rang.
‘Mrs Blackwell? This is Emma calling from Doctors’ rooms. Doctor Cavanagh has an opening at eleven. Are you able to come in this morning?’

‘Come in this morning?’ Nellie repeated blankly. ‘But… was I supposed to make another appointment? He didn’t say anything about it when I saw him the other day. I mean, I suppose I could come in, but I don’t understand why I need to—’

‘Doctor has some test results he’d like to discuss with you. So we’ll see you at eleven.’

‘But—’ She was talking to nobody, the girl had hung up. Nellie put the receiver down and stared into space. Well, that was all very peculiar. She’d already discussed her test results with Doctor Cavanagh. What else was there to talk about?
He’d sent her for some blood tests, she remembered, but he’d said they were just routine, hadn’t he? Actually, she wasn’t sure what he’d said, now that she thought about it. Something about checking her hormone levels? It looked as though she was going to find out for certain at eleven am.
There’d still be time to play private detective later.

*

‘Nellie, please take a seat.’

She settled herself into the chair the doctor indicated and waited while he moved around behind his desk. Why was it, she wondered idly, that gynaecologists always wore such dark suits? Probably had something to do with wanting to look sober and respectable while they peered up your fanny. ‘So, doctor,’ she said, ‘why am I here?’

He glanced down at his notes. ‘I have the results of your blood work,’ he began, ‘and there’s a concern with the CA125 results. It determines the level of a particular protein in your blood,’ he looked up briefly to explain. ‘There might be various reasons why the level is elevated, so we need to rule out some possibilities. I’d like to schedule an ultrasound as soon as possible.’

‘Wait a minute.’ Whoa, there, she thought. CA what? ‘What are you talking about? What concerns? What possibilities are you trying to rule out?’ She didn’t like the sound of any of this.

‘There could be various reasons for an increase in protein levels.’ He was neither looking directly at her nor answering her questions. Uh-oh. That was not a good sign. ‘Anything I say would only be speculation at this point,’ he said. ‘We’ll see if we can schedule the test for this afternoon.’

Nellie had a lot more questions to ask before any more testing was happening, except she couldn’t speak over the lump that had lodged in her throat. Before she could clear it, he’d picked up the phone and made the arrangements. Then he handed her a form to take with her, asked her to wait for the radiologist’s report and bring it back. He would see her whatever time that was. He’d let his receptionist know that Nellie was to come straight in.
All she managed to do was nod and agree to everything he said, while her stomach tied itself up in knots.

They took her in immediately at the imaging centre. They gave her a gown to change into and directed her to a cubicle. After that, they took her into a dimly lit room with a long, narrow bed and a truckload of machinery ranged around the walls. Left alone to wait for whatever happened next, Nellie lay back on the bed. Hands clasped across her body, she stared at the ceiling and tried to calm down.

Everything was out of her control, admittedly, not to mention moving at the speed of light, and that was more than likely another bad sign. But she’d had ultrasounds before, she reminded herself. There was no need to be getting this worked up. Doctors always erred on the side of caution. They had to cover all the bases, not to mention their arses, didn’t they? There was probably nothing to worry about.
Nothing at all…

‘Hello, Mrs Blackwell. My name is Leisa. Doctor Cavanagh’s explained the procedure to you?’

Nellie sat up to look at the woman who’d come into the room. ‘No,’ she shook her head. ‘Not in so many words, he just said ultrasound.’ ‘Procedure’ sounded ominous. She watched while Leisa pressed buttons, fiddled with knobs then picked up an odd-looking instrument, one Nellie had never seen before. Some kind of probe, not much smaller than a wooden spoon. ‘What’s that for?’ Oh, this did not look good—what was that Leisa was wrapping over the end of it? ‘Good grief! Is that a condom?’

‘Lie back for me now, Mrs Blackwell. Bring your knees up… like that, yes. Don’t worry, I’ll talk you through everything as we go. This shouldn’t be too uncomfortable for you. I want you to try and relax for me,’ Leisa instructed.

Relax? Fat chance. Nellie closed her eyes. ‘If you’re going to stick that thing where I think you are,’ she said, ‘you might as well call me Nellie.’

*

She wished she were having an out of body experience. If only this were a figment of what her sister called her overactive imagination. But she wasn’t imagining the words coming out of Doctor Cavanagh’s mouth. He wanted her to see a gynaecologic oncologist for more tests and confirmation. Heaven only knew what strings he’d pulled to get her in to see one in two days’ time.

So fast. It was all moving too fast for her to keep up. Funny, she hadn’t baulked at the idea of breast cancer. She’d made such lovely plans. But this… She couldn’t get her head around it. As soon as she was back at home, she logged onto Ed’s computer and googled ‘ovarian cancer’.

There were thousands of hits, millions. She took a deep breath before she clicked on the first one and started to read.

‘Nellie? Nell, where are you?’

Ed’s voice. Was it that time already? ‘In here,’ she called.

‘What are you doing sitting in the dark?’

It was night already. She hadn’t even noticed. Light from the hall spilled into the room and revealed Ed’s bulk filling the doorway. He lifted a hand. ‘No,’ she cried out, ‘don’t do that!’

Too late. He’d turned on the overhead light. Now he could see her face. ‘Jesus, Nellie, what’s the matter? You’ve been crying!’

‘Yes, I have,’ she sniffed. The light was hurting her eyes and she rubbed them. God, her head felt awful, too. Woolly and thick and jammed with too much information. All of it terrifying.

‘Well, are you going to tell me why? Nellie, love, what’s wrong?’

What was wrong? Where did she start? And who was he to be asking her questions, anyway? The bastard – she’d almost forgotten about that. ‘What’s it to you?’ she demanded and stuck out her chin. ‘What do you care?’

‘Nellie, don’t be like that. Okay, okay, I’m sorry, love, I’m really sorry.’ He tugged at the knot of his tie to loosen it. ‘I know I’ve been a bit…Things haven’t been too good with us lately, and that’s probably my fault—’

‘You think?’

‘—but I can explain.’ He shoved both hands into his pockets. ‘I… um…’

‘What?’ she prompted, when he went silent on her. She stared at him, squinting against the brightness. He was shuffling from foot to foot and he wasn’t looking her in the eye. ‘Just spit it out, Ed.’

‘Okay.’ He blew out a breath. ‘I’ve been having a few problems with… um… So anyway, I went to see a doctor today, and he gave me a script for… and… um… Things should be better with… um…’

‘With what?’ In a minute she’d reach down his throat and yank the words out if she had to. ‘What are you talking about, Ed?’

He ducked his head then, muttered, ‘It’s called “erectile dysfunction”.’

For a long moment she glared at him, speechless. ‘That’s what all this has been about? You don’t come near me in months, you call me a crazy woman when I think you’re having an affair—’

‘Hang on a minute, that was crazy! Come off it, love!’

‘Don’t you tell me to come off it! You’ve got to be joking, Ed!’ Imagine letting her think he was having an affair rather than admit he had a problem getting it up. He was pushing sixty, for God’s sake. It could be par for the course at that age for all she knew.
Ed wasn’t having an affair.
‘You could have told me, you know.’ She shook her head. ‘I would have understood. As if it would make any difference to me, anyway.’

He shot her an aggrieved look. ‘It’s not a small thing, you know, Nell! Oh, you know what I mean,’ he muttered, when she snorted. ‘It’s not an easy thing to admit for a man. I mean, it’s pretty major.’

She considered him out of narrowed eyes. ‘Pretty major,’ she repeated. ‘Okay, I suppose I’ll have to forgive you for not telling me sooner. And while we’re on the subject of major things that shouldn’t be kept a secret, there’s something I need to tell you, too.’ She took a breath. ‘I have ovarian cancer, Ed.’

*

‘But you said they won’t know for sure until you have this laparotomy thing.’

She was sitting on his lap in the lounge room and Ed had both arms wrapped around her. When he realized Nellie wasn’t making any of this up, he’d gone weak at the knees and had to sit down. ‘No,’ she said. ‘But you have to figure they’ve already got a pretty good idea. Doctor Cavanagh said he thought he felt a bit of a lump during the pelvic exam a week or so ago. Which is why he sent me for all the blood tests. And that other thing today… You would not believe what that transvaginal sonogram was like, Ed. The size of the thing the girl used, I thought she was planning to check out my molars from down there, too!’

Ed didn’t smile. ‘Yes,’ he said, ‘but you haven’t been sick or anything, love. Have you? I mean, have you felt any different lately? What are the symptoms if you have this thing?’

He really was being very sweet, her big old bear. Even his nose hair was quivering with concern. ‘Promise me you’ll do something about that forest growing out your schnoz,’ she said. ‘You’ll never get another woman after I’m gone if you don’t.’

‘Quit it, Nellie. I’m being serious here!’

‘I know. Very serious.’ She’d been serious all afternoon, too: seriously shocked and shaken and terrified by everything she’d read. She didn’t want to go back to that place where her insides turned to liquid and she was screaming inside her own head. But Ed was worried about her. ‘There are no symptoms, Ed,’ she told him. ‘Nothing specific in the early stages anyway, apparently. Maybe I’ve been a bit tired the last few weeks, a bit off my food, I guess. But that could have been anything – I thought it was your fault, you silly old bear!’ She patted his cheek to take any sting out of her words.

Ed caught her hand and pressed a kiss into her palm. Good grief, he really was upset. ‘So that means this thing must be in the early stages. And that’s good, right?’

‘I don’t know,’ she replied, and sighed. ‘I just don’t know.’ She let her head fall back onto his shoulder. ‘Talking about it probably won’t do anyone any good at this point. I guess we both have to wait and see.’

*

With more specialist visits, more scans and then a trip to hospital, the waiting was a long way from easy. But if she thought she was struggling with it, Ed was like a cat on hot bricks. He barely left her side at the hospital. For a minute there, she’d thought he was going to follow her gurney into the operating theatre.
The surgery went well, according to her specialist, but the aftermath of a radical hysterectomy was no joy – and the confirmed diagnosis was extremely tough to take. Thinking was one thing, imagining was even worse.
Knowing was the absolute pits.

‘So what now?’ she asked her oncologist. She and Ed had done a lot more reading and she thought she had a pretty good idea what to expect. But she still needed to hear it from her doctor to really believe it.

‘I’d recommend six to eight courses of chemotherapy, depending on how your body responds to the treatment. We’ll begin as soon as you’ve recovered from the surgery,’ he told her. ‘You’re young enough—’ Nellie pulled a wry face at that. She was feeling very old lying there in her hospital bed, ‘—that that could be as soon as a couple of weeks and—’

She tried to listen but it was hard to concentrate on what he was saying. Two words kept bouncing back and forth in her head: cancer, chemo, chemo, cancer. She hated the sound of them both.
She was so bloody scared it wasn’t funny.
What an idiot she’d been to make jokes about dying. What a total moron to imagine, even for one tiny moment, that it was any kind of solution to a problem.
It was the fucking problem.

‘—support groups for cancer sufferers, their family and friends…’
Support.
Friends.
Kerry Pearson.
Where had that name sprung from? She hadn’t seen Kerry in over twenty-five years. Hadn’t thought of her in months. Well, weeks, at least. All right, days – she’d been thinking about her ever since the invitation to their reunion arrived.
Kerry.
They’d been best friends at high school. Sisters in a former life, Nellie had always thought. There was nothing she couldn’t say to her, no flight of imagination too way out to share with Kerry. Kerry was the one, the only one, who’d never thought Nellie had a few loose screws. Never called her ‘whacko’, never laughed at her.
She’d been too busy laughing with her. God, they’d had so much fun together.

But then came the day Nellie had to cut Kerry out of her life. She’d done it deliberately and for good reason. No, for a terrible reason, one she hadn’t shared with anyone, least of all with Kerry.
She knew she could never tell her friend why.

‘—no need to look like that, Nellie!’ She looked up, startled, when the doctor called her name. He and Ed were both staring at her. Ed was holding her hand, the one not hooked up to drips, and his grip was so tight Nellie’s fingers were going numb. ‘Your cancer was in the early stages,’ the doctor continued, ‘which is good. The prognosis is better for that reason. I would still recommend the more aggressive approach as regards chemotherapy. The final decision will be up to you, in consultation with your medical oncologist—’

He went on to mention a whole bunch of people he wanted her to see over the next few weeks. It seemed as though every man and his dog would be helping her get through this. And Ed would be there for her, too. She turned her head on the pillow. Her poor old bear really did look like hell. She squeezed his hand before gently disengaging her fingers, flexing them until the blood started flowing again.
When the doctor asked if there were any more questions, she shook her head. She knew he’d covered pretty much everything. He’d given her and Ed such a lot of his time and attention.
Everyone was being very kind and caring and solicitous.
Yet another reason to be scared shitless.

‘Don’t hesitate to call me at any time.’

‘Thank you, doctor.’ She waited until he’d shaken Ed’s hand, given her a gentle press on the shoulder and gone out of the room. Then she turned to her husband, ‘Time for you to go, too,’ she told him firmly. ‘Don’t shake your head at me, you need to go home and get some sleep.’ And she needed a break from all the hovering. She gave him a smile; it was good to know she could still manage that much. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll still be here when you get back. I promise.’

‘You can make jokes about it,’ he said, and shook his head again. ‘I suppose that’s a good sign.’ He was looking for positive signs everywhere, was Ed. ‘Okay. You try and get some rest, too, and I’ll be back tonight.’ He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. ‘See you soon, love.’

It was a relief, after he’d gone, not have to put on a brave face anymore. Heaven only knew how she’d held it together this long. She’d never been so terrified in her life, never imagined she could ever feel like this. Her whole body was shaking with it, and Nellie covered her face with her free hand.

Why me? She could ask the question a million times and never have an answer, but that didn’t stop her thinking it over and over again. It hurt to cry, too, but it didn’t stop her doing that, either. She was hurting everywhere. She had more stitches and needles and tubes in her than she could poke a stick at, and she was having a good sob now that she was alone. Ed couldn’t cope with her tears, although he’d certainly been shedding a few himself. But he needed her to be strong for him, to help him get through this.
Please, God, she cried silently. Please help me get through all of this.

*

‘One lot down, seven to go.’

Rose draped a blanket over Nellie’s legs. ‘How’s that?’ she asked. ‘Are you sure you’re comfortable on the lounge? Wouldn’t you be better in bed?’

‘Please stop fussing. Rose. You’re making me wish Ed were here instead.’ She’d talked him into going back to work a week ago. He’d been driving her mad at home and there was nothing he could really do, anyway. ‘I’m perfectly comfortable,’ which was a lie. Her arm was aching and there was a foul taste in her mouth that wouldn’t go away and made her feel constantly sick to her stomach. But she wasn’t telling Rose any of that. It’d only make her fussing worse. ‘I don’t want to be in bed. I refuse to be an invalid, Rose, so please stop treating me like one.’

‘I’m only trying to help,’ Rose said quietly. ‘I don’t know what to do for you, Nell. Tell me what you need. I need to do something.’

‘Fine, then. There is something you can do.’ She paused to take a breath. ‘I want you to find someone for me, Rose. I need to find Kerry Pearson.’

‘I know that name.You went to school with Kerry, didn’t you?’ said Rose. ‘You used to be best friends. Then suddenly you weren’t, and you’d never say why.’

Rose was looking at her expectantly, and Nellie shook her head. She couldn’t go there now. Not yet. ‘I heard that Kerry’s married,’ was all she said, ‘but I don’t know her husband’s name.’

‘Not a problem. I still keep in touch with a few of the girls from my year. One of them might know. If not, there’s always the internet. Leave it with me, Nell. I’ll find her for you.’

‘Thanks, Rose.’

Ever since that day at the hospital, Kerry had been on her mind. More and more lately, she’d found herself remembering the good times with Kerry. She’d much rather do that in the middle of the night than think about death and dying. Nellie had banned all the ‘d’ words from her vocabulary, but her mind didn’t always co-operate in the early hours of the morning. Thinking back to her school years and some of the mischief she and Kerry used to get up to made her feel better. It even helped her through her first bout of chemo.

It was funny how cancer clarified things. The reason she’d cut Kerry out of her life still existed, but Nellie felt better able to face it, somehow. Face up to it. It was no longer the absolute worst thing that had ever happened to her.

But it was more than that. Nellie yearned to see her friend again. She’d missed her so much.

*